Lesson Learned...

I'm not a big blogger but I'm going to try writing my thoughts out so I could possibly find some clarity. I just went through a MAJOR breakup. I was with this person for six years and of course we have broken up before and its been on and off but I got to a point that I didn't know who I was or what I wanted and he was not the person I had fallen in love with as cliche as it may sound its the truth. I should have never let it carry on for as long as it did but I was just so afraid of letting go, of losing my best friend and Iguess I just didn't want to be alone. A couple days ago something changed inside of me and I couldn't take it anymore. I've let go and right now I'm just dealing with the pain of it all. I'm allowing myself to be sad and to cry. I've always suppressed my feelings but this time I really need to get rid of all this anger and sadness. I know that right now its going to be hard and I'm going to need time to heal but in the long run its better for me to be alone without him. He had become a poison to my life. My relationship became emotionally exhausting, I AM EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED. I hate him for all of the things he did to me because no girl deserves to be lied to. Lesson learned, this is an experience I learned from and my life will go on and things will get better. This could not have happened at a worse time. I have finals and a ten page paper to write, I can't focus and I just want to get away but I have my prioritiesstraight and everything will get done. Thats how Im different from him. He's a fucking slacker. He's irresponsible and he loves to criticize others when he SHOULD be looking in the mirror. He'll learn one day Ihope. Everyday it gets better and I feel stronger, he wasn't the one for meand it really is time for me to focus on myself and start a new chapter of my life, without him and I'm ready.