LONG BLOG.
So.... I've been going out ALOT. At first I thought it would be a good idea to go out and numb the pain from the heartbreak but then I realized its because I MISSED IT!I wasout last week like everyday... I've reconnected w. people I haven't seen in a while and it felt really nice to see them again. I hung out w. what people would call just an EX but he's a good friend and we have fun together. My friends are surprised at how well we get along. I saw him all wknd and he was totally my party buddy. This past weekend I was out thurs, fri, and sat. I didn't go out sunday cuz my daddy came home from DR :). New Year's is tomorrow and I'm excited about a fresh start, I have some big plans for '09. FRANCE! *keeping my fingers crossed* In August my girls and I are hoping to rent a summer house in DR and jus chill for a few days. For the first time in a long time I feel like I can breathe. I would get reallysad when I would see couples or people in movies or on tv hooking up but then I remember that my relationship was NOT a fairytale and I feel instantly better that I'm doing things for myself. A which is the guy I reconnected with and I had a loooong talk. He had just gotten out of an engagement and we were talking about our relationships (which is why my friends cant believe how cool it is btwn us). We both agreed that our relatinships were exhausting and that we were going to dedicate our time to being happy and discovering ourselves and basically enying life with no stress. I think its goingto be easier for me cuz I dont even speak to my X at all. I was gonna try the whole friend thing but honestly I couldnt take it. I cant be around him w.out missing him and then at a cetrain point being so furious at him. Another reason I cant be friends with him is because he doesnt know how to be a friend so why even bother. He said he would treat me like he did his douchebag friends that all fucking screwed each other over w. out hesitation, so NAH I'M GOOD N****. I think that from now on I should weed out the excess of people I dont fucking need because they are a waste of time. Im not saying that my relationship w. him was a waste of time but a friendship w. hm would be. He wasmy best friend because I was w. him but we have nothing in common so that best friend shit is out the window w. the bf/gf label. A's relationship w. his X however is a little bit more difficult because randomly shows up and she calls every 5 minutes. When I stayed over his house I thought she would have shown up out of the blue. The timing for this new independence could not have come at a better time. I'm going to stay out of a relationship for awhile but Im still looking to have fun ;). I wont be writing about this relationship nonsense everytime I blog, its just to get feelings and thoughts that have lingered out of the way. MOVING ALONG....
Random Thoughts....
I saw YES MAN w. Jim Carrey. It was soooooo good. I saw it alone because my mom and my sisters were in another movie. It was really funny and it was nice to be able to sit there and relax and enjoy the movie on my own (without HIS obnoxious unnecessary laugh). A friend of mine texted me and he thought I was crazy for watching a movie alone and he insisted I shoulda called him but NAH I dont need a man to watch a movie w.puleeezeee.
I've also gotten my grades back. Not bad I guess, 3 B's and 1 A-. There's still one more grade I'm waiting on so we'll see. As crazy as class was everyday and how much I was looking forward to the break... I kinda miss learning haha sucha nerd I know. Next semester I will have NO DISTRACTION sooo I will kick ass.
My cousin Y has a place in the city that IS MY NEW CHILL SPOT when its lowkey. He said my sister and I can come over, light L's, watch blurays on his HUUUUGE tv and jus chill whenever. The 3 of us are going through break ups and the 3 of us are handling it really well.. So I guess my hangout situation wont change that much from when I was tied down only now it'll be all fun, no stress and no cigarette/grease stench.
A friend of mine calledme crying lastnight going through the same BS i went through. I told her to hold strong. She's serious about this single thing now cuz she didnt sleep and at 6am she changed her number which is understandable, he became physical w. her. NO MAN shold EVER hit a woman and if he does HE'S NOT WORTH SHIT (dont you ever forget it). Right now I'm going to try and be as supporttive as she was towards me because she needs me and I'm here for her. She can do this because she has alot going for her and he depends on her sooo he's going to be the one suffering the consequences. I told her to use her anger to make herself better and stronger. Tonight is girl's night and a bottle of wine and brownies could be the first step at healing a broken heart, it worked for me.
NEW YEARS! is tomorrow. Noplans yet ust invites to a few parties. We'll see what kinda mood I'm in and where the hotties aregonna be at hahaha I'm jk (kinda). I just want to enjoy my New Years.. so we'll see keep u posted.
I think I'm good for now. Enjoy the last few moments of '08. xo
PS: this is for you. I reached such a level of unhappiness with you that I knew you wouldnever be able to repair because you are below me. I thought I needed you but I was soooo wrong. I will never forget the thingsu did to me, and yes I was not perfect and I hurt you too BUT you were worse and YOU are the reason we failed and were destined to fail. FIX YOURSELF, figure out what the fuck is wrong w. you. Grow up alittle and take on some responsibility and focus on something. You told me that I didnt focus, last time I checked I'm about to have a bachelor's degree. I committed to school for FIVE YEARS and I'm going to law school. Youlazy and just so you know...your mom cant pay for EVERYTHING. It was nice knowing you but it will be even better forgetting you.
