So, I havent blogged in awhile. I started my semester and I only have class two days a week. Its a good sched but when Im not in school Im jus fuckin around not doing anything. Im in the process of looing for a job but I refuse to settle for retail and the recession isnt too good for me to find an office job so right now im keeping my fingers crossed. I love all of my classes this smester and Im learning alot of interesting things. Besides academics, I have been ging out alot and every weekend I promise myself Im going to stay in I never do but this week will be the beginning. I decided to reoragnize my closet this weekend to stay busy and maybe ill catch a ,ovie with some friends. I think i was gong out so much to avoid the feeling of loneliness... if Im out and twisted then im having fun and focusing on the music and the strobe light because they do make evrything sexier and hide feelings and truths about people. I just want to feel like 100 percent my self again Im almost there and I have been doing alot better ut I just want to feel like I felt before HE happened. I always bring him up here which is interesting because I dont think about him that much I guess i just want to get to the point hes not a thought at ALL, not even in my blog. Since ive been alone i dont stress as much and i feel relieved and im more patient and positive. I've noticed more beauty and im just trying to figure out what I want. My goals right now are to travel and thats really what i want to do this summer. I want to explore and experience things. Life is so unpredictable and things can always change for the better. I meant to blog on the day of the inauguration but it ust slipped my mind. History was made once again on that day and i experienced it. so many experiences that are overlooked can be overwhelming and of the best kind. I thik about people that I know that are trying t figure things out and worry about things they shouldnt worry about and have peolple in their lives that shouldnt be there. I dont want to be one of those people so im re-evaluating. I hada friend that stopped talking to me out of nowhere so i removed her from my fbook friends and she actually took the time to respond to me. I was so shocked she did but I guess to her one less digital friend is a problem. I was so incredibly angry that i told her to fuck off. Im done w. her. she can stay in the world she has w. her boyfriend and when she needs someone shes going to be alone. I need to get away. I think there is soooo much more out there and it bugs me that im just in one place... there will come a time for me. I shouldnt be so upset i can go out and explore because some people have trouble living where they are because they go hungry, or are abused or oppressed as their human rights are violated. The grass will always be greener on the other side. everyone always wants a little bit more.... but life is complicated that way we're not supposed to figure evrything out but some soul-searching is always nice.
peace.
